Desire's.....I am my Own

When your eyez
find it hard to sleep,
I m drowning in this
sea so deep,
And you know I want
to change,
But you can't even
recall my name,
As it turns out
it wasn't a dream,
Sea water runneth
over the brim,
my cold stares
are justified,
If I say I like this
I lied,
But I ain't ashamed
to say I cried,
Nobody mourned
when my smile died,
Let me go
to the other side,
Let my feet
touch the summer tide,
I m stronger
than you think,
I know it will be
hard to breathe,
When I am
at this altitude,
But you learn whatever
little oxygen is there can be used,
Let me
reach higher,
I, myself
be my desire

Some feelings never vanish

A magic moment I remember

I raised my eyes and you were there

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that's beautiful and rare

I pray to mute despair and anguish

To vain pursuits the world esteems,

Long did I near your soothing accents,

Long did your features haunt my dreams.

Time passed- A rebel storm-blast scattered

The reveries that once were mine

And I forgot your soothing accents,

Your features gracefully divine.

In dark days of enforced retirement

I gazed upon grey skies above

With no ideals to inspire me,

No one to cry for, live for, love.

Then came a moment of renaissance,

I looked up- you again are there,

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that's beautiful and rare

Decision.............

There are two types of human being First are "Creators" who act as they feel like, live as they feel like,they make things,they make lifes of themselves and of others,they love but before loving anybody they love themselves....It's plain simple selfish,egoistical motivation that pulls them. They are the ones who normally, are said to be Arrogant, having attitude, Rude, Egoistic, selfish and all shit craps things them...but in the bottom of heart whoever says all this about Creators, are the ones who want to be like them but are afraid to accept...

Second type of Human are "Survivors"..Second Handers...they just survive, they themselves dont know why...they are the one who are caught in the rat race, they are the one whom are most likely to bash into you anywhere..school, college, malls. You go to mall and u'll see many john abhrams roaming, many priyanka chopra walking past you. They study because their parents wants them to be or their friends are studying...they want to go ot some good institute for higher studies b'coz "he's also going"...."i should also have bike or a girl" ask them why and u've ur answer.."uske pass bhi hai na."...Confused souls these survivors are,they cant decide for themselves but always ready to give advice wether u ask or not...Rules are made for them because they allow to be ruled and then they curse the rules.... Buggers.
Survivors live because A creator once created things on which these parasites live on,
These are look alikes of "CREATORS", what i call then Second Handers...

The Survivors choose to live, what they say is a Selfless life, the say its the best thnig, but they forgot, or they pretend to forget one thing What GOD said "Love and YOUSELF first Before Loving your Neighbours", Iam a True Beleiver of One can not love or respect anyone unless and untill he has no love or respect for himself


Well..all this long story just to give brief about me because long time back i choose to be a "CREATOR" and not a "Survivor".
Creator of my life..because i choose to live in such a way so that i don`t have to regret...and in doing so i might get hurt, i will bleed, i will taste my own blood...but than i stand up to anything,,against anything,,
I decide what is RIGHT ......Because i choose not live a Survivours life...

Defining '' I "

'I'... comes after H and before J..but in reality..I comes before everything and everyone. Some people accept it and take pride in loving thyselves, others deny it and coin words such as egotist, egoist, narcissist and many more and want to stand out of the 'egotistic' clan...now ain't that ego again...the desire to stand apart..

I believe that everything one wants to become or do is not for anybody else but for feeding the fire one has burning inside. More the fire,more desperate are the measures. SO people who are happy with what they are and knowingly or unknowingly try to cease the scathing flames are nothing but hopeless losers. I believe in just running.

I believe that man IS an island but ironically 99% of the crowd is afraid of staying alone, afraid of not being a part of the mob. Why? Why the urge to conform to foolish age old notions. Is it the fear of the unknown or the spastic and impotent brain of humans?

I believe that love is ephemeral, initiated by lust and later replaced by indifference, but again the desire to look good in the "EYES OF THE OTHERS", makes the "couples" stick together like badly filed pieces of rusted iron. SO I wait for that person whose face does not repel me and make me sprint out of bed when I see it first thing in the morning.

I believe that I do charity, not because I believe that my currency is going to make the beggar/con artist rich, but because I can not bear to see them spreading there femished hands before me who in contrast blows his money in every way possible(well apart from visiting harlots, again because I don't think I can get an erection by paying someone to do it for me..EGO you see).

But then I believe in a lot of other things, some beliefs are conventional and some make "radical" look like a soft sounding monosyllabilic word..

Questions!!

My heart is questioning to me--
"If you love a person,Tell me,
who it could be??"
One who is comfortable to the heart.
Loveable and completely down to earth.
One who will love me forever,
was my answer.

My eyes are questioning to me--
"What type of person it would be,
Whom you will forever like to see??"
A person whose face would be a charm.
Except her looks ,
She would be of no harm.
One whose eyes will hold my attention,
was my explanation.

My life is questioning to me--
"If you want to share your life,
with someone who it could be??"
One who will love me,
Without any condition.
One who would respect
My views and emotions.
Who will always make me cheer,
Is the one,with whom;
My life I would share.

My soul is questioning to me--
"If you want to give your love something,
what it could be??"
I would give her-
love,passion and peace.
Strength,wishes,dreams -all these.
I will give her happiness.
And take away her pain.
I would not let her change-NEVER AGAIN.

What if I quit!

What if I quit from this natural law,
to die and to live again,
to bargain love and happiness,
for solitude and sadness;

What if I quit for times I long for,
the times when I enjoyed and asked more,
the play in which I win and score,
to be under sunshine and carved by wind;

What if I quit now,
would that spoil this show,
the seed that I sow,
will reach height and be bright to shine,

What else can I quit,
what else could I be,
what else could I say,
life seems worth this way!